Skip to main content

Me

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

30th Sept 2016
Fri, ZCP

What do you want in life?
Where were your real destinations at?
What do you expect from ur inner side?

Life can be sometimes cruel to you.
Life can be sometimes the sweetest thing in ur world.
Life can be hard.
Life can be easy to catch up with.

When some company or college offers me a job or part to continuing my study, I'm so excited. I'm so happy. But then, I feel empty inside me. I feel like, it wasn't what I want to do. It wasn't my had in my thoughts.

Considering so many things that happened previously, I may quit halfway. Or I may depressed continuing everything.

So, I prefer to be myself. I prefer to do what I love to do.

May Allah ease everything.

Allahumma aminn.

Popular posts from this blog

Dramatic Me

So drama~ I'm sharing this not bcz I've fallen in love. I'm just sharing after almost an hour cried for a korean drama, a historical drama, last night. It's all abt love, family, throne, jealousy, friendship, sacrifices. When it comes to love, in our early 20s, most of my friends were already married, engaged, found their only one. but me, I'm still searching for myself. a real me. I'm still clinging to my parents. my siblings. I'm the last one but sometimes I feel like I'm the older sister. Day and night, I'd been thinking, abt their meals, facilities, groceries, the peoples. sometimes I feel so guilty, I can't give them a hug, I'm just too far frm them. the only thing I did was, transferred them money, calling them, asking their condition. It's just so frustrated~ I, desperately want to finish my study, in Law and ECE. I can't give up. I can't pay attention for other things like lover, went outing with him, dating, etc etc. ...
Read more

Dreams come true~

Bismillahirrahmanirahiim. 2014, April 05. 12.33 am Ummi Playhouse Impian. Kadang kala sukar untuk merencana impian kerana ia unpredictable. Sukar merencana atau sukar melaksana? Hmm. ^^ Dulu bidadari saya pernah berkongsi, dia ingin menjadi seorang pendidik. Pendidik agama. Ingin menuntut, menambah ilmu di rantau orang tetapi dihalang dek ema(atok) dan iyya(nenek) atas alasan bimbang tidak dapat berjumpa sebelum mereka menghembuskan nafas terakhir. Lalu setelah beberapa pertimbangan dilakukan, akhirnya, impian bidadari saya terkubur disitu. Dia tidak menyesali takdir yg itu. Walau sedikit pun? Wallahua'lam. Kerana dia dengan bangga pernah berkata, 'kalau mama pergi juga masa tu, mama nda akan dapat Enn dgn abang. Mama lebih daripada bersyukur ada kamu.' Touching sat. T_T Pernah bertanya, 'kenapa ingin menjadi pendidik agama?' Lalu mama kata, 'kerana keadaan orang2 sekeliling yg kurang tahu bab2 seperti inilah mama mau belajar. Mama mau ajar doran...
Read more

Impressing^^

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim~ Kg halaman ibu, Julai . Istidraj. Pengertian? Hmm~ ana baru tahu istilah ini. Itupun diusia 19 sudah. Tapi..alhamdulillah sekurang2nya ana tahu dpd tak pernah tahu. Kan? Dulu ana selalu berkongsi apa shj stuffs dgn cousin ana, Amanda. Kami tersangatlah rapat hinggakan dia tahu bila masa ana mood itu dan ini. Sebelum ana tahu istilah istidraj ini, ana pernah bertanya kat dear amanda; knpa non Muslim ramai yg berada, bijak dan hampir punya segala asset termasuklah paras rupa. Dan si comel ini menjawab, itu cara Allah menghukum mereka iaitu dgn kesenangan dunia. Kami cuma berbual setakat begitu2 shj dan tidak terselit pun apa istilahnya untuk soalan itu. Hinggalah ana terbaca dalam satu artikel tentang istidraj. Dimana contoh yg diberi sangat menjentik perasaan. Bukan apa, tiba2 takut untuk jadi org yg boleh dapat setiap yg dihendakkan. Allahu~ :/ . . . Ada orang kata, kalau dapat INI syukur Alhamdulillah. Bila dapat yg INI tadi, berhajat pula mau yg ITU...
Read more