So drama~
I'm sharing this not bcz I've fallen in love. I'm just sharing after almost an hour cried for a korean drama, a historical drama, last night.
It's all abt love, family, throne, jealousy, friendship, sacrifices.
When it comes to love, in our early 20s, most of my friends were already married, engaged, found their only one. but me, I'm still searching for myself. a real me. I'm still clinging to my parents. my siblings. I'm the last one but sometimes I feel like I'm the older sister. Day and night, I'd been thinking, abt their meals, facilities, groceries, the peoples. sometimes I feel so guilty, I can't give them a hug, I'm just too far frm them. the only thing I did was, transferred them money, calling them, asking their condition. It's just so frustrated~
I, desperately want to finish my study, in Law and ECE. I can't give up. I can't pay attention for other things like lover, went outing with him, dating, etc etc. I'm just so scared of people nowadays. what if I did, finding my only one and end up with nothing? scary, isn't it? I pray to Allah for sending me one, that is will support my career whatever it is. someone that is will guide me in the right path. show me the light. brought me closer to Allah azza wajalla. InsyaAllah..
As for me, who's became silence than ever lately, I rather remain silence than hurt myself. I just hate talking nonsense lately. tell me something interesting, something important, then I'm gonna be annoyingly talkative.
as for friendship, ughh.. so hard to find one..bcz I hate being fake all the time with them. I just want to be me. I accept them as they are, and I want them to accept me as who I am, for myself. the real me. last night on the drama, I froze by the dialog, 'when will the lies end?' I can feel her when she sacrifices a lot to her friend, share a lot of things with her, share her secrets, but at the end, that girl betrayed her. hmm~ T.T
I better stop typing before I type something bad more.
daaa~