Eelmar Anaiz

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Ya Allah permudahkanlah urusan kami..

Kadang kala semakin ramai yg bercerita kurang baik mengenai orang lain pada kita, semakin kita rasa tidak ingin berkongsi perasaan dengan siapapun. Semakin banyak yg kita tahu, semakin kita rasa hanya ingin diam & mendengar. Semakin ramai kelompok di sekelililing kita, semakin kita tidak mahu bersuara. Dunia . Indah tapi fantasi semata. Kawan . Ramai tapi siapa yg harus dipercaya? Hidup . Sukar tapi kena tabah.

It is still early in the morning now. I can't see the road outside clearly. the coldness makes me feel sleepy after all. woke up on 5.50am isn't that early to woke up but still, when you are working for 12++hrs you gonna feel that, 'im sleepy!'.. and today was Tuesday, last week of December. might be the most teary week I guess. it's a farewell for me and the 14kids who's gonna leave me to the another school. Be strong, dear self. You will be okay.

So drama~ I'm sharing this not bcz I've fallen in love. I'm just sharing after almost an hour cried for a korean drama, a historical drama, last night. It's all abt love, family, throne, jealousy, friendship, sacrifices. When it comes to love, in our early 20s, most of my friends were already married, engaged, found their only one. but me, I'm still searching for myself. a real me. I'm still clinging to my parents. my siblings. I'm the last one but sometimes I feel like I'm the older sister. Day and night, I'd been thinking, abt their meals, facilities, groceries, the peoples. sometimes I feel so guilty, I can't give them a hug, I'm just too far frm them. the only thing I did was, transferred them money, calling them, asking their condition. It's just so frustrated~ I, desperately want to finish my study, in Law and ECE. I can't give up. I can't pay attention for other things like lover, went outing with him, dating, etc etc. ...

Say goodbye~ I'll never forget how warmth ur hugs is, which is, I'll forever miss.. I'll never forget how is it feel to comfort someone like you, which is I never learn how to.. I'll never forget that time you said you love me, more than anyone, which is I never expected to.. I'll never forget that time we laughed happily watching the pouring rain, which is, it gonna remind me of you.. I'll never forget all of those memories we create, with hopes, You'll grow up as a kind person with a big heart.