Eelmar Anaiz

It is still early in the morning now. I can't see the road outside clearly. the coldness makes me feel sleepy after all. woke up on 5.50am isn't that early to woke up but still, when you are working for 12++hrs you gonna feel that, 'im sleepy!'.. and today was Tuesday, last week of December. might be the most teary week I guess. it's a farewell for me and the 14kids who's gonna leave me to the another school. Be strong, dear self. You will be okay.

So drama~ I'm sharing this not bcz I've fallen in love. I'm just sharing after almost an hour cried for a korean drama, a historical drama, last night. It's all abt love, family, throne, jealousy, friendship, sacrifices. When it comes to love, in our early 20s, most of my friends were already married, engaged, found their only one. but me, I'm still searching for myself. a real me. I'm still clinging to my parents. my siblings. I'm the last one but sometimes I feel like I'm the older sister. Day and night, I'd been thinking, abt their meals, facilities, groceries, the peoples. sometimes I feel so guilty, I can't give them a hug, I'm just too far frm them. the only thing I did was, transferred them money, calling them, asking their condition. It's just so frustrated~ I, desperately want to finish my study, in Law and ECE. I can't give up. I can't pay attention for other things like lover, went outing with him, dating, etc etc. ...

Say goodbye~ I'll never forget how warmth ur hugs is, which is, I'll forever miss.. I'll never forget how is it feel to comfort someone like you, which is I never learn how to.. I'll never forget that time you said you love me, more than anyone, which is I never expected to.. I'll never forget that time we laughed happily watching the pouring rain, which is, it gonna remind me of you.. I'll never forget all of those memories we create, with hopes, You'll grow up as a kind person with a big heart.

After lunch.. 4yrs : Teacher, hari ni kita baca buku tak? Tc.Z : Baca..jap lagi ye.. 4yrs : Bila teacher? baca buku apa? firefighter? doctor? crocodile Aryan? abracadabra? *shining eyes* Tc.Z : Jap lagi..sabar..*busy sorting out something* 30sec after that.. 4yrs : Teacher~~~*mendayu2* bila baca buku? ( Hahaha :D excited betul anak2 ni since tau teacher beli new books ) Tc.Z : Okay. look, kat atas tu ada jam. nanti kalau jarum color black sampai 6 kita baca buku ok? *it was 11.20am that time* Setelah 10mins teacher struggles busy kan diorg jaga jam tu..akhirnya bolehlah baca buku dgn tenang.. Walaupun dlm masa 10mins tu, setiap 1min je inform tcr dh sampai 6.. ⏰⏰ Walaupun ada adegan 'rebut kuasa' duduk seat paling depan.. Walaupun expression diorg kadang2 pause kan skjp cerita tcr.. Walaupun yada yada yada.. ‍‍ habis jg 1 2 3 buku marathon diorg suh teacher cerita.. ( tu pun petang tanya lg tak puas hati kenapa tak baca buku banyak kali )

Teacher : Astaghfirullahaladzim...... *serious face sbb terlupa something* Boy A : Astaghfirullah..rabbal baraya...astaghfirullah..minal khatoya.. *zikir sepenuh hati sambil pandang teacher senyum2* Teacher terharu, bangga, tersentap dgn reaction dia yg spontaneous tu. Dear, maybe awak kecil, sgt kecil pada mata org2 di luar sana..tapi cukup besar utk buat teacher tersentap dgn ur spontaneous reaction.. Actually, bukan dgn zikrullah diorg ja yg bagi teachers sentap, merenung diri, muhasabah diri..kadang2 dgn soalan diorg pun teacher boleh tak tidur malam fikir benda tu.. Terima kasih Allah kerana meminjamkan anak2 ini pada kami. Semoga membesar menjadi anak2 yg soleh & solehah. InsyaAllah.. Terima kasih Allah kerana mengingatkan kami yg mudah lupa. #ThankyouAllah #Alhamdulillah #Reminder

‪There's still some woman in the world with a good heart, not sleeping around, educating herself, building their own, working everyday to be the best she can be and worthy of a good man.‬

PLEASE. teacher..nak air, please. teacher..nak pegi toilet, please. teacher..nak roti lagi, please. teacher..nak exercise lagi, please. teacher..nak story, please. teacher..tak nak dah, please. teacher..kenyang dah, please. teacher..dah siap, please. :D anak2 dibiasakan say please kalau nak something..tapi..rasa macam semua ayat ada please.. :D but it's okay. slowly anak2 akan faham bila nak guna 'please' tuu.. A : teacher, nak minum. B : A, kena cakap elok2 la. kena cakap please kalau nak minum. macam ni-teacher nak minum please.. A : okayy ^_^ Walaupun ada yg masih pelat, pelisss.. piliss.. pwisss.. pishhh.. but they still try their best to say please. ‍‍ And walaupun ianya sangat simple tapi teacher sangatlahh happy bila anak2 cakap please dgn teachers or their friends. (hopefully kat rumah pun guna please jg) "The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any." Me, as a teacher, pun struggles jaga tutur kata, tin...

A dialog between me and my student on a lovely evening... X : Teacher, kita tak boleh cakap tepi sikit..tepilahh..kann? *serious face* Me : Ye, kena minta izin tumpang lalu kalau nak lalu..cakap elok2..say please..ok? X : Tapi teacher...kenapa ada org guna tepi sikit...marah2 cakap tepilahh..? *penuh perasaan* Me : Haaa....hmm it's ok..nanti X bagitau elok2 kat org tu yg kita kena cakap elok2..cakap tumpang lalu pleasee.. okay? X kan good boy.. X : Okay teacher.. *muka lega* Kadang2 anak2 tu diam..dengar..pandang je walaupun ada yang tak kena..hari ni diam..esok diam jg..lama2 dia akan luahkan jg apa yg dia fikir..macam X ni.. Tu kena dgn anak2 yg diam, dengar, pandang, fikir dan tanya.. kalau dgn anak2 tiru bulat2 apa yg dia dengar & lihat? Hmm..tak dapat bayangkan..