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Real Friends

Part 1

 As a someone who had trust issues, you'll be firm with quality of friends instead of quantity. 
So, i didn't dare to make a new relationship as a lover or friends either. 
I'm afraid to. 
I got countless insecurities in mind, that being wall every time i tried to do so. 

 But then, at the age of 22 years old, i met them. 

 Their naughtiness, genius ideas, noisiness caught me off guard. 

 I even ask myself for once, 

 'Am i able to continue this friendship with them?'
'Am i, the most secretive person, able to open up about myself, my life or even my family with them?'
'Are they going to leave me alone after this? Are they going to stab me at the back?'
And so on..

 We being friend. 
1 month. 
3 months. 
6 months. 
9 months. 
We did a lot of activities together. 
We went to trip. 
We have fun. 
We share laughs, love and problems. 
And.. 
We also argued on a certain times when we felt it goes wrong. 

 Then, i started to share abt my life.
And..
It scared me. 
Its f*cking scared me, a lot. 

 'No, it can't be! They fool you! You can't continue this!'

 I'M STRUGGLING VERY HARD WITH MY OWN MIND. 

 Especially when something happened between me and my friend on few months back.

 But, i tried to push all the negativity away from me. 
It make me sicks. 
I keep this in my mind and my soul, if you love them, you trust them, you want to share everything with them, then do it. If one day, they gonna use it to make you feel down, then it's not ur fault anymore, to not dare starting a new relay w people. 

 So, i keep this mindset. 
I continued for being myself with them. 
And i let Allah chose what is the best way for me. 

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