Eelmar Anaiz

Dear Playgymmers, Thank you for the wonderful years we had spent together, Thank you for being part in making our school brighter, Thank you for giving us this priceless opportunity being as your teacher. Our time had come to the end, But never stop learning, Continue spread your wings, Be the shiniest star you want to be, Soar to the new heights, Have fun, be kind, be yourself. Remember that.. Wherever you are, We are always proud of you, Because.. We are forever your teacher. We love you to the moon and back. Hugs and kisses, Teachers of Zaza Cerdik Playgym 2018. 

Part 1 As a someone who had trust issues, you'll be firm with quality of friends instead of quantity.  So, i didn't dare to make a new relationship as a lover or friends either.  I'm afraid to.  I got countless insecurities in mind, that being wall every time i tried to do so.  But then, at the age of 22 years old, i met them.  Their naughtiness, genius ideas, noisiness caught me off guard.  I even ask myself for once,  'Am i able to continue this friendship with them?' 'Am i, the most secretive person, able to open up about myself, my life or even my family with them?' 'Are they going to leave me alone after this? Are they going to stab me at the back?' And so on.. We being friend.  1 month.  3 months.  6 months.  9 months.  We did a lot of activities together.  We went to trip.  We have fun.  We share laughs, love and problems.  And..  We also argued on a certain times w...

I was one of kind yang kalau dengar cerita orang pasal something yang kurang baik, i didn't react berlebih2. sebab i know that i have to investigate and verified the story first. it is unfair to judge the book by its cover, isn't it? I am way more to observe what's happening around me. sometimes I've and I'd tried to talk a lot with people around me; family, friends, colleagues and so on. but i failed to do so. sometimes i succeed but then I thought, it is not me if I'm trying to make something different from what I used to be. It is fake! 😌 **** To be continued~~

B ismillahirahmanirrahiim. 23/06/15 Ummi Playhouse  Alone Ramadhan Hati semakin keras Sekeras batu barangkali Atau Cuma umpama ais, Terdedah haba mencairlah ia. Manis kata tidak dipinta Andai hanya membawa luka dihadapan jalan Walau terkadang rasa sudah terlali akan kepalsuan Tetap jua menuntun airmata menderas menenangkan jiwa Kemana terbangnya semangat sang pemudi Impian sang ibu tua menjadi inspirasi Untuk tetap gah berdiri Walau kaki sudah penuh duri Dirimu jua menjadi inspirasi sang hati Jiwamu yang kental Keanakanmu yang matang Kekuatanmu yang luar biasa Senyummu yang riang Aduhai Dimana tercicirnya sifat diri Mengapa yang dirasa lelah melebihi sepi Letih melebihi gigih Penat melebihi langkah kaki Dan Putus asa melebihi mimpi2 Moga terus kuat.

I love you, forever.. 💟💟

Leadership. Being a leader isn't that easy. We trained our subordinates how to do this and that but being called bossy. We show the very best in us so that they get something good to follow but being called show off. And i heard those saying before i became a leader in a team.. Still, i can see the hardness thru other people.. And me.. I'm just a 'ciput' leader.. I don't know how to train my team I don't have any jokes to make fun with I don't even express my own feelings very well I am always serious with work, especially when it comes to the kids..their safety, their happiness, their story comes first whenever I'm entering the school.. I've always put this mindset on my mind, 'be somebody that the kids need the most..even kat luar you different..' Not because it is my job to that tapi i want, one day, my kids will be a better teacher than me.. I want my kids happily spreadin their love..i want my kids sharing their empathy wi...

Being someone who is so introverted was so hard. 😞

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim Ya Allah permudahkanlah urusan kami..

Kadang kala semakin ramai yg bercerita kurang baik mengenai orang lain pada kita, semakin kita rasa tidak ingin berkongsi perasaan dengan siapapun. Semakin banyak yg kita tahu, semakin kita rasa hanya ingin diam & mendengar. Semakin ramai kelompok di sekelililing kita, semakin kita tidak mahu bersuara. Dunia . Indah tapi fantasi semata. Kawan . Ramai tapi siapa yg harus dipercaya? Hidup . Sukar tapi kena tabah.

It is still early in the morning now. I can't see the road outside clearly. the coldness makes me feel sleepy after all. woke up on 5.50am isn't that early to woke up but still, when you are working for 12++hrs you gonna feel that, 'im sleepy!'.. and today was Tuesday, last week of December. might be the most teary week I guess. it's a farewell for me and the 14kids who's gonna leave me to the another school. Be strong, dear self. You will be okay.

So drama~ I'm sharing this not bcz I've fallen in love. I'm just sharing after almost an hour cried for a korean drama, a historical drama, last night. It's all abt love, family, throne, jealousy, friendship, sacrifices. When it comes to love, in our early 20s, most of my friends were already married, engaged, found their only one. but me, I'm still searching for myself. a real me. I'm still clinging to my parents. my siblings. I'm the last one but sometimes I feel like I'm the older sister. Day and night, I'd been thinking, abt their meals, facilities, groceries, the peoples. sometimes I feel so guilty, I can't give them a hug, I'm just too far frm them. the only thing I did was, transferred them money, calling them, asking their condition. It's just so frustrated~ I, desperately want to finish my study, in Law and ECE. I can't give up. I can't pay attention for other things like lover, went outing with him, dating, etc etc. ...

Say goodbye~ I'll never forget how warmth ur hugs is, which is, I'll forever miss.. I'll never forget how is it feel to comfort someone like you, which is I never learn how to.. I'll never forget that time you said you love me, more than anyone, which is I never expected to.. I'll never forget that time we laughed happily watching the pouring rain, which is, it gonna remind me of you.. I'll never forget all of those memories we create, with hopes, You'll grow up as a kind person with a big heart.

After lunch.. 4yrs : Teacher, hari ni kita baca buku tak? Tc.Z : Baca..jap lagi ye.. 4yrs : Bila teacher? baca buku apa? firefighter? doctor? crocodile Aryan? abracadabra? *shining eyes* Tc.Z : Jap lagi..sabar..*busy sorting out something* 30sec after that.. 4yrs : Teacher~~~*mendayu2* bila baca buku? ( Hahaha :D excited betul anak2 ni since tau teacher beli new books ) Tc.Z : Okay. look, kat atas tu ada jam. nanti kalau jarum color black sampai 6 kita baca buku ok? *it was 11.20am that time* Setelah 10mins teacher struggles busy kan diorg jaga jam tu..akhirnya bolehlah baca buku dgn tenang.. Walaupun dlm masa 10mins tu, setiap 1min je inform tcr dh sampai 6.. ⏰⏰ Walaupun ada adegan 'rebut kuasa' duduk seat paling depan.. Walaupun expression diorg kadang2 pause kan skjp cerita tcr.. Walaupun yada yada yada.. ‍‍ habis jg 1 2 3 buku marathon diorg suh teacher cerita.. ( tu pun petang tanya lg tak puas hati kenapa tak baca buku banyak kali )

Teacher : Astaghfirullahaladzim...... *serious face sbb terlupa something* Boy A : Astaghfirullah..rabbal baraya...astaghfirullah..minal khatoya.. *zikir sepenuh hati sambil pandang teacher senyum2* Teacher terharu, bangga, tersentap dgn reaction dia yg spontaneous tu. Dear, maybe awak kecil, sgt kecil pada mata org2 di luar sana..tapi cukup besar utk buat teacher tersentap dgn ur spontaneous reaction.. Actually, bukan dgn zikrullah diorg ja yg bagi teachers sentap, merenung diri, muhasabah diri..kadang2 dgn soalan diorg pun teacher boleh tak tidur malam fikir benda tu.. Terima kasih Allah kerana meminjamkan anak2 ini pada kami. Semoga membesar menjadi anak2 yg soleh & solehah. InsyaAllah.. Terima kasih Allah kerana mengingatkan kami yg mudah lupa. #ThankyouAllah #Alhamdulillah #Reminder

‪There's still some woman in the world with a good heart, not sleeping around, educating herself, building their own, working everyday to be the best she can be and worthy of a good man.‬

PLEASE. teacher..nak air, please. teacher..nak pegi toilet, please. teacher..nak roti lagi, please. teacher..nak exercise lagi, please. teacher..nak story, please. teacher..tak nak dah, please. teacher..kenyang dah, please. teacher..dah siap, please. :D anak2 dibiasakan say please kalau nak something..tapi..rasa macam semua ayat ada please.. :D but it's okay. slowly anak2 akan faham bila nak guna 'please' tuu.. A : teacher, nak minum. B : A, kena cakap elok2 la. kena cakap please kalau nak minum. macam ni-teacher nak minum please.. A : okayy ^_^ Walaupun ada yg masih pelat, pelisss.. piliss.. pwisss.. pishhh.. but they still try their best to say please. ‍‍ And walaupun ianya sangat simple tapi teacher sangatlahh happy bila anak2 cakap please dgn teachers or their friends. (hopefully kat rumah pun guna please jg) "The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any." Me, as a teacher, pun struggles jaga tutur kata, tin...

A dialog between me and my student on a lovely evening... X : Teacher, kita tak boleh cakap tepi sikit..tepilahh..kann? *serious face* Me : Ye, kena minta izin tumpang lalu kalau nak lalu..cakap elok2..say please..ok? X : Tapi teacher...kenapa ada org guna tepi sikit...marah2 cakap tepilahh..? *penuh perasaan* Me : Haaa....hmm it's ok..nanti X bagitau elok2 kat org tu yg kita kena cakap elok2..cakap tumpang lalu pleasee.. okay? X kan good boy.. X : Okay teacher.. *muka lega* Kadang2 anak2 tu diam..dengar..pandang je walaupun ada yang tak kena..hari ni diam..esok diam jg..lama2 dia akan luahkan jg apa yg dia fikir..macam X ni.. Tu kena dgn anak2 yg diam, dengar, pandang, fikir dan tanya.. kalau dgn anak2 tiru bulat2 apa yg dia dengar & lihat? Hmm..tak dapat bayangkan..

Sometimes, teringin nak study full time. Study weekdays, cuti weekends. But, bila fikir semula yg I got a lot of things to take care of, I had to cancel them out. Memang la our parents said they can afford to bayar all the fees, extras fees tapi kesian pula dengan diorang. Dari kita kecil, struggling to pay our school fees, facilities, bill etc.. Tak sampai hati nak susahkan hati diorang lagi. Hmm T.T

Bila belajar early childhood education (teori + praktikal), terangguk kepala bila baca kanak2 harus didedahkan kepada skills yang masyarakat tak ambil kisah part tu. memasak, constructing, solving problems dll bagi kami(childminder) sangat penting dimana anak2 boleh belajar dan terbiasa(mungkin boleh tumbuh minat sampai besar) dengan benda yg didedahkan kepada mereka. Contohnya memasak; balik pada diri sendiri, mama saya sangat pentingkan untuk anak2nya masuk dapur dan belajar. Abang sempatlah masuk dapur belajar masak. So no wonder kalau dia terror bab tu. -,- bila sampai turn saya, ayah pula tak bagi masuk dapur. Dengan alasan takut anak bongsunya luka, melecur, dsb. Dulu sukalah bila ayah tak bagi buat semua tu. Anak kesayangan lah kononnya. Tapi bila sekarang, saya duk fikir 'kenapalah ayah tak bagi belajar semua tu dulu'. T.T Kalau tak sekarang ni dah terror masak dah bukannya baru nak belajar dari zero. Tapi nvm. Nak salahkan mama memang tak boleh kan. So terpaksa la b...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim 30th Sept 2016 Fri, ZCP What do you want in life? Where were your real destinations at? What do you expect from ur inner side? Life can be sometimes cruel to you. Life can be sometimes the sweetest thing in ur world. Life can be hard. Life can be easy to catch up with. When some company or college offers me a job or part to continuing my study, I'm so excited. I'm so happy. But then, I feel empty inside me. I feel like, it wasn't what I want to do. It wasn't my had in my thoughts. Considering so many things that happened previously, I may quit halfway. Or I may depressed continuing everything. So, I prefer to be myself. I prefer to do what I love to do. May Allah ease everything. Allahumma aminn.